"I told you" He groaned trying to move further up, damn these beds. He closed his eyes and let out a breath and nodded his head. "Your not my type, I dont like wet dog slobber kisses, Moony on the other hand…." And then his breath caught "He’s alright right… no one…. hes…. " He tried to breath and regain control."I was the one who sent us in there, no back up, no plan, I should have fucking waited like Moody said, I shouldn’t have let you go in."
"Too bad the only bloke I like is you, you plonker." he teased and breathed deeply at James’ pain, he understood his friend wanted to do things on his own and he would’ve done the same but after the list of things done to him; half of which he didn’t remember; he thought James would take it easier. "Prongs, Lils was there, if we waited we might have not reach her." he said and then rolled his eyes, "Let me? Merlin you really hit your head in there, you don’t let me do anything, I just jump as you jump, hell, sometimes I even jump first. Stop blaming yourself, is not attractive.”
He learned to tell the difference between dreams and real life, this hirt far to much to be a dream, and for that reason, James winced when he tried to push himself up. The magic that healed him, was not doing it quickly enough. The sight of his best mate, put a smile on his face, Lily had not come to see him, not yet and only Healers had poke and prodded him. His name from the mans lips sounded unfamiliar, it was only in sad situations did his name leave Sirius mouth like that, a bad fall, his mothers death, when Sirius showed up at his door soaking wet after leaving his family. “Why so Sirius?” He mocked in the voice thick with pain as he gulped down the water. Even drinking was painful, when did he get to be such a wuss? “I’m sorry” it tumbled out. not thinking. After all, everything that happened that night was his fault .
Sirius understood James condition, he hated it, he had seen it change from what it feel like forever and he took it easy at James. If this were any other circumstance he would’ve hug him to make sure he still was there, and in one piece; making a lame joke about wanted to cop a field and be done with it, but James had never been in a situation like this. “Because you were sleeping beauty for two weeks and none of my kisses woke you, I’m heart broken,” he joked holding James hand, wanting to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating and James was really awake. “It wasn’t your fault, Merlin, I would have done the same if I found any of you first.” he admitted, knowing that he would go through hell for James and Lily.
Lily tensed as Sirius wrapped an arm around her. She couldn’t understand how he could possibly still care about her after all that had happened. It had to be a trick of some sort. There was no other explanation.
She pulled away from him, her expression resembling that of a frightened puppy. “Why? How could you possibly care whether I live or die? It’s my fault that James got hurt! It’s my fault he hasn’t woken up! You shouldn’t want anything to do with me! You should hate me!”
Sirius immediately retreat his arm from her, did he triggered something? did he hurt her? the doctors said she was fully healed so that shouldn’t be it.
He looked at her and blinked at her yells, “Because you’re my sister, Lily.” he answered simply looking at her. “Lily don’t be silly, that wasn’t your fault, you didn’t do that to him, the Dark Lord did. It wasn’t your fault, why would I-” he cut himself in the middle of the thought, “Is that why you haven’t been on James room? you feel guilty about what that bastard did?” he said containing his anger, not at Lily but at Voldemort, who already took so much to also take his best mates’ relationship, and planted doubt on Lily’s mind.
His throat was dry, his eye lids heavy, he hurt, his body ached, but the air in his lungs meant one thing, he was alive, he was okay, he was breathing. And he had to remind himself that with every breath, no matter how much it hurt, he was alive to feel it. “Water” He rasped out.
When Sirius wasn’t on a mission he was by James’ bed, he visited his cousin and talked to Remus once in a while but he always ended up in that room looking at his best mate feeling with every hour that he wouldn’t wake up, and at the same time praying that he did. He was nodding off almost asleep when he heard the raspy voice and his eyes open widely, “James…” he mumbled half sleep, half not wanting to wake up from what seem like a dream. Then he noticed it wasn’t a dream, soon enough he was moving filling a glass and helping his friend with it.
"Aww, you’re so full of love," She laughed. Marlene shrugged, flashing him a smile, "As good as can be. You?"
"Always," he said with a half smile, placing another piece on the bike, "No, fucking clue. Best mate/brother in the hospital, but everyone else is fine." he shrugged.
Lily doesn’t respond, merely nodding when he asks to sit down. After all, what was there for her to say. Sirius probably hated her now. In fact, he should hate her. It was her fault James got hurt and to make matters worse, she had been a coward and not even visited her husband yet because she feared he’d wake up and want nothing to do with her ever again after what she’d put him through.
Sirius sat and carefully wrapped an arm around Lily’s shoulder. She looked like she needed it, and he knew how it could get to you; how you would revive every moment and think everyone was against you, and going to hurt you, and Sirius didn’t want that. Sirius didn’t love Lily as James did, his love ran deeper than anything Sirius had seen, but he loved Lily; like a sister and a confidant, someone that showed him kindness even we he wasn’t so kind. “I’m so glad you’re back.” he mumbled still holding her.
I think I’m good with birds. That was always more your thing. Hey, maybe we’ll get some new people in our ranks that can go um… bird watching with you.
"Yeah I remember. There’s nothing wrong with talk, despite reputation I don’t shag everything that moves, I’m just flirty." he shrugged placing the piece of the bike and cleaning another.
"Elvendork, really?" Ethan pulled a face, but nodded appreciatively nonetheless. "I suppose it’s pretty nice. Clever, how it works."A nod. “Fair enough. Not exactly an option right now, though, so…” He came closer and leaned down slightly to get a better look. “I’d offer to help, but I’ll admit I don’t have a clue what I’m doing.”
"Is unisex," he chuckled and nodded, "Muggles are cleaver, they can make things work without magic, I don’t think I could ever live without it."
"It’s okay, I’m almost done." he said putting the last piece in and stood up, cleaning his hands with a cloth. "Want to her hear roar?"